elloooo world...it's been a while since i've written anything. Currently, im working on a project that is kinda personal to me cause it is full of pieces from real life experiences...but some of it is fiction. Ultimately, it is a story im hoping will do something for someone at some point. Read the newest deviation i added and you'll get a little bit of what it is about. Enjoy. Til next time,

<33333333 muchhhh loveee, ashhh

I love the sun. I love music. I love blasting it in my car and acting completely crazy and irrational. I dont care what people think when i sing loudly in the middle of the pouring down rain.

I care about you. I care that you make me happy. I care that right now it seems we're through. I care because that doesnt seem to matter to you...and you know what? - thats too damn bad.

I love the sunshine. I love feeling it on my skin. I love that it makes me feel alive. Everyone should feel alive, and not be like you and be dead inside. I love the sunshine. why does it feel like since i met you, it went to hide. sunshine, oh sunshine, where have you been all my life??

i'm so done and moving on, i can't handle how you're one person with me and someone completely different with your friends. it sucks. i deserve better. i deserve to be acknowledged and loveed for me and that's that. i deserve so much more than you and all the baggage in your life. right now i hate your guts but i also feel that my heart is yours and i hate that you're tearing me to pieces...

i will never forgive you for that.

i don't think that i can...i'm fading fast.

Hello to all of you beautiful women out there! And hello to the men who think you're just as hot. I've got news for you, (I'm not gonna say that you're not...because, well, that would be a lie), but some of you do have huge egos...(and that's not all of you...just some}

I'm sick and tired of guys who think they can push me around simply because they are men...news fl-ash, i don't think so. And so I must say to all of you ego-tystical people out there (men and women)...if your ego is really that big, let me adjust it for you.

Read my new entry, Beautiful Lies, it'll explain it all.

Til next time,

<3 love always, ashhh

All right guys, so it turns out i haven't updated this in quite a while because there's more to John's story. I found out who he is...haha. And actually asked him to help me out with a campaign i'm doing at school and that's when fate stepped in: it was too loud and we couldn't hear each other so I was like, "why don't you just give me your number and i'll text you about it later." He was skeptical but agreed and that was in January and every day since we text back and forth about any/everything. It's really funny how this whole time it was so simple, but there it was.

And now, we're still not dating but my friends all joke like, "you'll never guess what your boyfriend just did..." haha.

So maybe, someday, fate will intercede again, and we'll see where that takes us...